~ brief intermission ~
Kilimanjaro is coming.
It’s just that it was/is a result of the journey I started months and months before…
I often wondered, “Why did it work this time and not the other times?” I can’t know for sure, but I suspect that many of the other failed “get healthy” or “get fit” attempts were coming from a place of LACK. I didn’t like how my body looked, I didn’t like the size of my clothes. I didn’t like how I felt. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way, of course. But the problem was that I became my own worst enemy when I did try to get fit/healthy/lose weight. I didn’t like myself, and when my eyes stayed on ME, my failures became insurmountable. So when I didn’t complete the run, or lose the pounds, or whatever, I beat myself up even more and then threw the towel in. I failed again therefore I labeled myself a failure. It was all about me and my lack of being able to do what I thought I wanted.
(photo: on top of Old Rag in the Shenandoah Mountains of Virgina, 2015)
The difference this time around? I had my eyes set on something beyond myself. I had a goal. I was looking UP THERE, or OUT THERE and not at myself. I decided that there was something I wanted more than self loathing. I decided it was a worthy goal to work towards. And I decided I could do it. And that I would do it.
I firmly believe this is the power of the whole MY PEAK CHALLENGE phenomenon. People are actually succeeding at things they have tried for years, decades sometimes because they have their eyes on a CHALLENGE, a GOAL, a TARGET. And to aid in that process, there is an entire support component that is just the boost that most of us need to hold on and keep moving forward. I keep reading the stories and successes and I am so encouraged and inspired.
Munro bagging was my goal. My eyes were set on the mountains. And finally, finally I was able to succeed at my fitness goals. I even found profound spiritual significance in the following verse from the book of Psalms 121: 1-2:
I will lift up my eyes to the hills,
from where does my help come?
My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.